I never thought I’d be writing about my fertility journey at 40. Our first child was conceived with lightning speed when I was 36 years old. My grandmother had my Mom at age 40 (in the 1940’s!). I have lived a very healthy and balanced lifestyle for most of my life, and an extraordinarily healthy one for over a decade now. All of these factors made me believe that pregnancy would happen very quickly this second time around – in lightning speed again just like the first.
It has been a few months since we began talking about it, and we have realized that there is more to conceiving baby number 2 than meets the eye. Carving out the time to … well, you know – conceive New Baby is a challenge when there is a 3rd person involved in our lives most moments of the day. Add to that 2 parents working on different schedules, fatigue, life, stress, work travel, and other concerns, and it makes sense that we are having to create a deeper sense of purpose.
I say it that way because that is what is true for me. When we conceived my daughter, we were newlyweds with plenty of time together to dream, play and conceive our hearts away. Now we schedule it in, put it in our calendars to make sure we are both in the same city on the important dates, and yes, I’ll admit, one of us has had to wake the other one up more than once to make the magic happen.
More than anything else, it has become a journey of the heart. Just like last time, only as different as I am changed after 4 years of life and motherhood. As you can guess, Real Fit Mama the woman (that’s me) – loves to exercise. A lot. And vigorously. And I always have. I also love to work (a lot), be very busy, and focus my energy outward into relationships, work, and the world – it is learned and relearned behavior to indulge in quiet modes of being. Having my daughter has only increased my desire to express and expend energy in the world.
I recently started a course of acupuncture treatments to support our desire to conceive, and the effects of the treatments have been enlightening. I find myself sinking deeply into my body. I find all kinds of emotions flowing out of me that I didn’t realize I was holding inside. I’ve cried, yelled, experienced frustration, and ultimately had some important conversations I was putting off. As I do this, I see myself opening up energy and space in my being for another child to come in. I feel my energy sinking down into my lower belly. I experience deep relaxation
I have also been able to follow my body’s natural wisdom in relationship to my specific goal – so I exercise less rigorously, I sleep more deeply and more hours, and I nourish my body with a variety of healthy and mostly cooked foods. I avoid cold and iced beverages, and I listen to the signals my body is sending me in the form of emotions, discomforts, and on the positive side, the good feelings and sense of relaxation and calm.
So, do you have to do all of this? No. Not necessarily. I will encourage you to slow down, tune in, and listen to your own body. Follow your personal path to pregnancy, and find out where you get to be different than your usual ways of being. Sometimes that path may be briefly messy, sometimes beautiful, and always worth it in the end.
What has your personal journey to parenthood been? Share it with me in the comments below!